“Live for each second without hesitation.” Elton John
It’s so disruptive. My rhythm … The general cadence of the week’s flow shifts drastically. It’s annoying. Regardless of preparation or planning, moving from one place to another changes things. It’s uncomfortable, tiring and host of other words that build a case for never ever moving.
That’s where I was last week. I spent two years in the place pictured above but the time to move showed up before I was ready. It completely upended my week. But what can do?
After resisting the inevitable for a little bit, I decided to attack it and get it over with. My week shifted from things I am passionate about to cardboard boxes, folding styles, markers, tape and Tetris. A few hours into packing I noticed something …
I had never unpacked.
No I didn’t keep everything in boxes but when I took a look around my room, there was no clear evidence that I had lived there. No expression. No creativity. No curation of my habitat. My room, was never really my room. I consider myself a creative .. I am a creative person, so I am not sure how I was in a place for two years without creating things in my environment.
What was I waiting for?
As I continued to pack, I found plenty of things to hang and decorate with. Each thing I picked up jarred my memory to the time I made or got it. Skateboard decks I had been meaning to hang, a painting that I was waiting on the right hooks for … the list went on. Each carried a similar pause or excuse to wait. But what the heck was I waiting for? I don’t know.
I quickly began making promises and plans to never repeat this mistake again. There was no real reason to wait, no purpose behind my hesitation. I spent two years writing, creating, storytelling, and designing in every place I could find — except my own place. It’s almost embarrassing. It is embarrassing. That’s why I am writing about it, because now I am accountable. Now it can’t happen again, because I have no plans to write another blog detailing another case of a two-year hypocrisy.
Why am I making a big deal about this?
Well, because it’s important to live life and express without hesitation. What I was doing is something that, if left unchecked, could bleed into other aspects of my life. Hesitation invites fear, doubt and host of other things I don’t desire to own.
“On the plains of hesitation lie the blackened bones of countless millions who at the dawn of victory lay down to rest, and in resting died.” Adlai E. Stevenson
So moving is good, moving is necessary.
Moving signals growth, change, advancement in some way. It forced me to look at all my things and examine the environment I kept myself in. In the last two years, I have learned a lot and come a long way despite this odd oversight. With this new realization, I am excited to see how far I can push with an environment that confirms and encourages my direction.
Unpacking begins now.